MEN LIKE US | Gay men, depression, anxiety and the struggle for everyday happiness



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ARE YOU READY TO LOOK IN THE MIRROR? THESE ARE OUR LIVES, AS THEY REALLY ARE.

My name is Christopher Banks. I’m a 35-year-old gay man who did something pretty simple: I found nine other men like me and asked them some questions about their lives. The answers they gave and the stories they told astonished me, not just because of the remarkable pain, struggle and survival that was hidden behind these faces that sat right in front of me… ...but because I saw so much of what I had experienced as a gay man in their stories. On the face of it, these men were nothing like me: the youngest was 24, the oldest 78. One was a sportsman, another a former Catholic priest. I can’t catch a ball to save my life and crucifixes melt when I look at them. Yet still I was astonished at the common experiences we all shared as gay men. I rediscovered my sense of community, of being visible and validated through meeting these men and hearing their stories. And I felt better about myself. When I took this film out into cinemas and to television last year, that’s exactly how other gay men felt as well:

“It made me cry at times and filled me with hope at others. A film worth viewing!” Kieren, 25 “A courageous, authentic, instructive and engaging look at the sides of life we need to talk about more but which are too often silenced” Jason, 29 “this was such a good film in terms of inspiration, support and motivation. Hopefully as many people see it as possible” Richard, 35 “wonderful, educational and inspiring” Craig, 40 “how awesome it was to see the stories, struggles and triumphs of gay New Zealanders documented on the big screen” Aych, 22 “you can’t help to be moved by these men’s accounts, and to relate to their stories” Steven. 38 "Fascinating insights into the strength and diversity of my fellow gay men" Robert, 48

That’s just some of the feedback I’ve received. There’s been more, not just from gay audiences, but from non-gay people and film critics as well. This isn’t about wallowing in sadness and depression. It’s about hope, survival, pride, and self-acceptance. I’ll get down off the soapbox now and give you some quotes from other people, so you know I’m not making this shit up.
WHAT THE CRITICS SAID
"Men Like Us is a fantastic documentary" Andrew Whiteside, GayTalk Tonight "an unflinching look at gay life in New Zealand" Express "a very emotional and very compelling watch" Wendyl Nissen, Newstalk ZB "a mirror on gay New Zealand: some scars, but plenty of hope" GayNZ.com "Amazing...these are stories that actually aren't being heard" Tamati Coffey, TV1 Breakfast "What makes the documentary so great is how unassuming it is. There are no stereotypes, expectations, or labels." Taryn Dryfhout, Critic.co.nz “this compelling and moving documentary is one that society in general should view” Francesca Rudkin, Rialto Channel
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Here are the nine amazing men you'll meet in MEN LIKE US:
	The sportsman - Blake “I don’t know how many times I came to the conclusion that this would be my life, and what I was feeling towards men I would have to stuff into a sack and throw into a river.” A Winter Olympian and New Zealand’s only out gay professional sportsman, Blake struggled for years with the idea of having to choose between his sexual identity and his sport.
	The priest – Michael “I always remember one occasion where I was called to the Bishop for flaunting myself in the gay bars…I eventually found out that the person who reported me was another gay Catholic man who couldn’t cope with the fact that there was a priest in the gay bar.” Michael conducted the funerals for dozens of gay men lost to AIDS in the 1990s, and despite leaving the priesthood to live an open life, has not lost touch with his spirituality.
	The bear – Raymond “I had a man walk up to me on the dancefloor and tell me if I’d lost ten kilos I’d look really good. Did I get to the point where I thought, actually, you’ve got nothing to offer? Yeah, absolutely.” Raymond hated his body so much that it kept him isolated and unhappy for years, until he found a group of men willing to accept him for who he was.
	The migrant – Ivan “I have to tell you when you suddenly have all the freedom you can ever dream of, and no one is watching you…it’s like a wonderland.” Ivan came to New Zealand from Malaysia, where being a gay man can still put you in prison. But his new-found freedom was tempered by disappointment from family over his sexuality and a hookup culture where the line “No Asians” is all too common.
	The small town boy – Todd “I didn’t dream very big…I wanted to be a rubbish man because I thought they get big muscles and exercise while they do it.” From a town with one of the highest youth suicide rates in the country, Todd blew himself up to over 100kg in his teenage years by force-feeding because he thought it would stop him being bullied. Now, he’s managed to embrace all three parts of his identity: as gay, as Maori and as a young man.
	The husband – Stephen “I knew I just had to do whatever I had to do to get through this.” Stephen nursed his partner of 12 years through a losing battle with cancer, and found himself ill-equipped to deal the subsequent bereavement. The strength and optimism he discovered within himself is inspirational and revealing.
	The elder – Rob “Many old folks are just desperate to be touched. Intimacy is something that everybody needs. More being close to somebody than being sexual.” Rob is nearly eighty, still single, and shows no signs of slowing down. He’s had to set up his life during retirement to find love and intimacy from a number of different places.
	The DJ – Karl “It was made implicitly clear to me that homosexuality was a choice and that it was a bad one – you weren’t going to find love, you were going to grow old alone.” Karl grew up as a Salvation Army kid, dodged the AIDS bullet on the gay scene in 1980s only to become HIV positive in his 30s when his life began to spin out of control. Coming to terms with his diagnosis and rediscovering his passion for music has been the biggest struggle of his life.
	The runaway – James “As soon as the teacher walked out, everything started flying my way - at one point there was even a pair of scissors and a compass. I walked out of class and didn’t go back.” James ran away from home to another city to escape the school bullies, failing to complete his education and falling in with a bad crowd. He’s now a successful professional, but to get there he needed someone to believe in him.

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Oh by the way, if you don’t like the film, I’ll give you your money back. Just let me know within a month of the purchase, and I’ll refund you, no questions asked.

That way, if you ever see me, you won’t think “there’s that guy who made that crappy film”, you’ll think “there’s that guy who made that crappy film I got to see for free”. Much better, right?

Here's the trailer:

Now go forth and order!

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	ORDER YOUR COPY TODAY DVD $29.95 $19.95 DOWNLOAD $9.95 PRICE IN NEW ZEALAND DOLLARS CLICK HERE FOR CURRENCY CONVERSION